More C.R.A.Z.Y.

So its been almost a year since my last blog post. I could bet myself up and I have. That is not the important stuff here. I am typing and I am not giving up. Things did not go the way I wanted them to go. I got the ADHD paralysis and I did not follow through. That does not mean I cannot do this. I want to help others especially the women who feel as I have for years. I want to be a part of the movement to let the world know ADHD is not a character defect. We are not lazy. We are the ones that do not care. We are not bad people.

Take this morning for me as an example. I woke with the intention to go to my classroom and get things better organized and cleaner. It's raining and Spring Break. Me and my inner ADHD rebel argued about just going back to bed. I mean it is Spring Break and it is raining. Then I thought well I will just do lesson plans at home. I showered, walked the dog, fixed myself breakfast and was still argueing in my brain. And then my inner you should have had all this stuff done, you have so much to do, and why can't you just get yourself together and act like a grown up had long lists. Oh and the you can't be an ADHD coach and you are a horrible teacher joined in the conversation. Ya'll this is not being lazy and not caring. I challenged myself to write this all down in this blog to stop the cycle and add some motivation to my day. I can go back to bed after this or I could use it to fuel more productivety to my day. I will feel some remorse for being so open on the world wide web. I will feel afraid of ridicule from those who do not know me or those still judge me due to my past. I will feel relief in having done this one thing to propel me forward. And all of this is what will make me a good ADHD coach, I now know how my brain works most of the time. I do know that I am not a bad and horrible person. I do know the ridiculers are going to ridicule. I have progressed from a person with stuff getting me in trouble, not being able to find most of my belongings, having to clean for weeks for someone to visit me in my home, and a whole lot more to a person who is better at all that. My life is still a whirlwind and I still have problems. I am ok with this most of the time now and I do know I will have setbacks as I am going through at this time. I am better and I will be even better as I progress through this creative, resilent, authentic, zany, young at heart life of mine!